March Madness: Unrequited Love
In our month-long look at madness, perhaps you didn’t want to kow about symptoms, treatment or a look at the famously insane and how they are depicted in movies. Perhaps you want tips on how you, too, can become a stark raving nuttter. There are two ways to do it — become an alcoholic and then go off the drink or fall deeply in love with someone you can never possibly talk to, let alone sleep with.
There are several adavantages to the second method, that of unrequited love. First of all, it’s free. Being an alcoholic takes a hell of a lot of money or learning how to shop lift and not get caught. And then you haveto drink like a fish for years in order to make conditions just right for the DTs. That takes way too much effort for those dedicated to the path of pereptual insanity.
With unrequited love, you don’t have anything to lose except your tiny little mind. Falling hopelessly in love happens instantaneously, so there are no skills to learn. It’s a lot like being hit by lightning, except an ambulance ride is usually not involved.
Unrequited love is loads of fun because your agony never ends. Your energy quietly drains just a little bit more every day. Oh, you can deny you have it and go dancing and romancing a whole bunch of other suitors, but you can never quite stop comparing them to yuor Beloved. Eventually, you find that living on your own and having a very rich fantasy life is much better than trying to cure yourself of unrequited love. Enjoy the madness.
Here is one of the best songs about unrequited love ever written — “Never Be Mine”, from the mysterious Kate Bush:
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